What people are saying:

"Getting there may be half the battle, but until now no one had really addressed what we should do once we've arrived. McNaught, one of our most prominent sexuality educators, comes to our rescue with a practical primer that's both informative and fun to read."

– The Advocate

"This is a heartwarming and life-affirming first-person account that will tempt you to sit back and enjoy being gay."

– Gay Chicago Magazine

"Warmly affirmative, realistic without being downbeat, and moving in its candor, this important work is essential to gay studies collections and is highly recommended for public libraries as well."

– Library Journal

"McNaught captures a degree of sophistication missed by many other modern writers of the gay experience."

– Lesbian & Gay New York

"...concise and focused takes on significant problems facing gays in America today. Chattily and cogently written, this book offers solid advice to the majority of gays...on how to come to terms with themselves in both gay and mainstream society."

– Publishers Weekly

"What makes McNaught's book superior...is its humility, its personal honesty, its freedom from negative criticism, and its ability to make the reader feel affirmed and hopeful...Perhaps the best recommendation I can make for this book is the one given me by a 55-year-old therapy client. The man had come out to his wife about a year earlier and has been reading every gay book he can get his hands on. 'Have you read that new book by Brian McNaught,' he opined with enthusiasm. 'It really helped us both...a lot! My wife said it was the best help she's had in understanding me and the transition we are going through. Everyone needs to read this book'."

– Armand Cerbone ,Ph.D.
APA Division 44 Newsletter

"From the author of the perennially-selling On Being Gay comes a sensible book about the next step--about integrating one's lesbian or gay self into a world which, even in the 1990's, is still hostile and confrontational. McNaught...is an inspirational writer with a rare sensitivity, easy to read yet profound when it counts; his is an important book for anyone about to come out, for anyone already out but still seeking social solidity, and certainly for those interested in developing a spiritual or political base in which to build a life in the community."

– A Different Light Bookstore

"If you've ever felt that you didn't quite fit in, weren't gay in the right way, had concerns that you didn't hear other gay or lesbian people talking about, this courageous personal account of a journey to self will give you a perspective that you are not likely to find anywhere else."

– Betty Berzon
Author of The Intimacy Dance

"Straight men and women are meant to learn something about the gay world from this open, gentle book, but we can also learn something about ourselves and how to live truer, richer lives by coming to know our best selves - gay or straight - just as McNaught has come to know his best self."

– North Shore Magazine

Paperback (St. Martin's Press, 1997)

"For most gay, lesbian, and bisexual people, acknowledging and accepting their homosexual orientation are only the first steps in what is often a lifelong journey. They then must integrate their sexuality into the rest of their lives. This requires that they reevaluate the most basic themes of human existence: family, love, spirituality, work, and community. In a series of personal essays that are both prescriptive and inspirational, Brian McNaught leads readers through issues that they have to confront as they try to find a safe and meaningful place for themselves in what is often a hostile world."

Now That I'm Out, What Do I Do?

Thoughts on Living Deliberately